Small ship?

No, the nautical version of a city break.

For first timers who want to dip their toes in the water?

Topped up by old salts who want to try out a new ship before committing themselves.

How short is a mini?

Three- and four-nighters with Celebrity Cruises (0800 0182525) next spring swap Southampton for the Channel Islands and St Malo, from £519.

Do I have to wait that long?

No. Four nights on P&O's (0171-800 2222) Arcadia from September 16 incorporates Amsterdam, Bruges and Guernsey.

Short cruises stay north?

You'd barely make the Bay of Biscay.

Fly over it.

This summer's fly-cruise samplers from Radisson's (0171-287 9060) new "Seven Seas Navigator" include Rome to St Tropez, for five nights on August 28.

When do Mediterranean cruises begin?

Costa's (0171-323 3333) four ships will be offering 3-6 day hops around the Med in April and May 2000. Cultural ports of call to be finalised next month.

The rest of the year?

From October to April, most of the world's cruising fleet is in the Caribbean.

I've only ever crossed the Channel.

In style? Black Prince"s three-and four-night gala mini-cruises to Belgium or France make the perfect pre-Christmas aperitif.

Shopping bag and calculator essential?

Yes, when Fred Olsen (01473 292222) features two Continental ports of call - Antwerp or Bruges in Belgium, and Rouen, St Malo, Honfleur or Le Havre in France. Wouldn't it be cheaper on a regular ferry?

Could you survive three nights on a cross-Channel ferry?

So this is the healthy alternative?

Sea air for a day keeps the doctor away.

My lungs aren't that big.

There are plenty of sports and entertainments to compete with the ozone. Tell me more.

The "Choose to cruise" booklet from The Passenger Shipping Association (0171-436 2449) is awash with information you always wanted to know but never dared ask.