To add your name to the wall of fame in the bar at Club La Santa, you need more than a marker pen and a penchant for post-alcohol graffiti sessions. In this purpose-built sporting complex on the north coast of Lanzarote, the qualifying standard is to be an Olympic champion, a world champion or world- record holder. You also need a signed photograph.
Entry criteria for the rest of the resort is, fortunately, far lower - open to anyone, in fact. What makes La Santa unique is that while a host of sports stars are shining under the watchful eyes of their coaches, any vaguely- sporty type can share the very same sessions and facilities. You just have be up for an active break and, depending on the time of year, be ready to pay slightly more than you would for a regular self-catering package holiday. Once that's done, use of all equipment, tuition and competition entry (for those that want it) is free.
No fewer than 63 of the medal winners from the last Olympics trained at La Santa. Regulars are Benetton's Formula One drivers, national rugby and cricket teams, rising stars of track and field, such as Linford Christie's group of young sprinters, and retired greats such as Frank Bruno and Daley Thompson. Yet the atmosphere is anything but intimidating - an essential part of any training programme is rest and recovery, and there are ample opportunities for both.
Anyone of any shape, size or state of fitness can sign up for one of the many exercise or relaxation classes, which take place all day, every day in the open-air aerobics areas. Start with an early-morning stretch session, head out for a run or power walk, take lessons in the Olympic-size pool, pump iron in the gym or practise racket, ball and cycle skills. Or simply read and relax.
There's professional coaching on hand from the "Green Team"- who also look after the kids for you if required. There are even security guards patrolling to keep the noise down and ensure that everyone gets a good night's sleep.
This may be the Rodeo Drive of fit bodies, but if it's reassurance you're after, watching them tuck into large post-training plates of chips and mayonnaise at the pool bar should make you feel a lot better.
What to do
Sport, sport and more sport, plus all that goes with it - massage, physiotherapy, sports psychology, tuition, sleeping, sunbathing, eating, drinking. Evening entertainment includes live music and cabaret shows, theme nights and parties, plus a cinema with English films.
Apart from the extensive daily programme of activities, which take place all year round, La Santa organises tournaments, training camps and instruction weeks, which usually take place under the guidance of present and former international sports stars, but are available to participants of all levels. Examples of specialist weeks include cycling, aerobics, badminton, tennis, swimming, yoga, adventure walking and London Marathon preparation.
There's a competitive element for those who want it - La Santa hosts the Lanzarote Ironman Triathlon in May as well as a number of 10K races and marathons.
For those after a different sort of therapy, shops on site include a fashion boutique and a hairdressing and beauty salon.
What to see
More than 250 years ago, a massive volcanic eruption transformed Lanzarote into a lunar landscape. There's a law to preserve the natural beauty of the island: buildings over three stories high are prohibited and the outside walls must be white with green, brown or blue doors and shutters, symbolising the cultivated earth, the volcanoes and the sea.
The La Santa Guides Department can arrange excursions to different parts on the island, such as the 14km Ruta De Los Vulcanos in the National Park of Timanfaya. There's also a mountain bike trip around the small island of La Graciosa in the north; a catamaran cruise along the coastline looking for dolphins, whales and flying fish; camel and surf safaris; and trips to the local markets.
Eruptions (the last was in 1824) have left behind a series of caves. One of the biggest and most beautiful is Jameos Del Agua, which now houses a restaurant and tourist centre. The Caves of The Green People (Los Verdes) served as a refuge to the natives of the island against the pirate attacks and slave hunters, and a section about a kilometre in length is open to visitors.La Casa de los Volcanes is a volcanic research centre where you can observe earth temperature and movements.
Where and what to eat
Most people stock up at the on-site supermarket and cater for themselves in the apartments. There are also three restaurants at the resort: Atlántico is a self-service affair where half-board guests eat morning and evening buffets. La Bodega has a family-minded menu, while La Casa is à la carte and offers international cuisine and traditional Canarian dishes, tapas and vegetarian meals. The pool bar offers light lunchtime snacks.
For more traditional fare, head out to the surrounding villages. Lanzarote is good for fish and shellfish, such as limpets, winkles ( burgados ) or mussels. Look out for sundried fish (jareados) or sardines and tuna from the Sahara banks, together with papas arrugadas (wrinkled potatoes) and the famous mojos, a spicy sauce made from a mixture of oil, vinegar, garlic and different spices.
Kid, goat and pork leg, are local specialities, while tra ditional basics include potato stew, sancocho (salted fish casserole), fish soup, chickpeas and goat and sheep's cheeses.
Frangollo is the king of the sweets, made with corn flour, eggs, milk, almonds, raisins and served with honey or condensed milk. Bienmesabe or truchas stuffed with sweet potato, pumpkin or vermicelli are also worth a try if you're sweet of tooth.
How much?
From £272 per person including flights and airport transfers, based on three people sharing a self-catering apartment for a week in January. All sport free. Accommodation only (subject to availability) or full package deals available. Special equipment such as bikes or surf boards are charged for by the airlines at the airport.
How to get there
Flights to Arrecife from most regional airports, although prices are based on charters from Gatwick, so others may carry a supplement. Bus transfer to La Santa.
How to book
Contact www.clublasanta.co.uk, e-mail: reservations@clublasanta.co.uk, or Sportstours International, 91 Walkden Road, Walkden, Worsley, Manchester M28 7BQ, tel: 0161-790 9890, fax: 0161-790 9811.
