You can do Menorca three ways. The first is the touristy, crowded beaches, chips with everything way. The second is the hideaway, freshly-baked ensaimadas for breakfast, unspoiled landscape way. The third is a mixture of both.
But whichever way you do it, this tiny Balearic island can provide one of the easiest family holidays ever. Menorcans have a surprisingly high tolerance for post-school, overactive children, and a generous manner towards exhausted parents who are too tired to spoil the holiday by telling their wayward youngsters off.
One of the main advantages to the island is that the flight time from Gatwick or Heathrow is less than two hours, and only slightly more from further north. No sooner have you been served your in-flight food than it is whipped away again, while the duty-free trolley hurtles down the aisle at breakneck speed. On with the seat belts and there you are in glorious sunshine, under blue skies and surrounded by the scent of the sea.
Transfer times are short as the island measures only 53km from east to west and 23km north to south. So, it's less than an hour by car to anywhere.
And the main road is com pletely straight, although smaller roads can be winding, narrow and have a habit of disappearing at the edges.
Menorca has avoided ugly high-rise hotels, largely thanks to legislation that declares the island to be a biosphere reserve - protecting the environment while supporting tourism.
The two cities of Mahon and Cuitadella are well worth a visit. Narrow whitewashed alleys hide a multitude of grand 18th-century houses. The resulting influences of Spain, Britain and France - all sometime rulers over Menorca - make for a mish-mash of styles but the towns are richer for it.
The evenings bring bustling squares, a huge choice of restaurants, and any number of bars, from modern and sophisticated to quiet and traditional. If the children will only eat chips but parents want to sample something slightly more challenging, such as the paella-like dish of arroz marinera , any of the harbourside restaurants will be happy to oblige. It is possible to find tapas, but it is no good looking in the larger restaurants, or in the resorts. Tapas providers tend to be small, café-type eateries, bulging with locals. However, Menorcans adore adventurers, so be prepared to ask what everything is, and then, of course, not to have a clue what you are eating.
Renting a villa set slightly away from a main resort will give families the opportunity to dip in and out of the local facilities. Away from the crowds, a villa with its own pool will please most kids, as well as often affording fabulous views, and few noisy neighbours. Our children enjoyed swimming off the effects of some rather delicious pizza at midnight in our tiny floodlit pool, and of all the places we saw and things we did, this is the moment that stays with them.
Our villa was a two-minute drive - or 10-minute walk - from Binibeca Vell, one of the earliest tourist developments in Menorca. Built to resemble a Mediterranean fishing village, it is a swarming maze of people and tiny, whitewashed villas. There's a rather glorious church steeple but no church at the bottom - only an alcove containing a crucifix. Like the steeple, the village is a fake, but a very useful one, with a small shopping street full of supermarkets, clothes shops and restaurants.
The nearby beach of Binibeca Nou is crowded in the season, but has a bar and loos. Busy beaches are not necessarily a bad thing, particularly for children who want to find some playmates. This beach is small enough not to give parents nightmares about losing their kids. The on-site bar means no lugging heavy picnic bags around, and there are pedal boats, sunshades and loungers to hire.
It is entirely possible to find a secluded cove devoid of people, but there will be no loos, no bars and nothing for hire. Many require a half-hour trek across local agricultural land, not ideal if you're carrying a picnic.
Ultimately, you can see the furthest corners of the island within a week, and still go to the beach, play in the pool, relax with a jug of sangria in the bar or simply laze around on a sun lounger. Children love the fact that there are no long car journeys, they can stay up late to eat in a restaurant, and the sea or pool is right on their doorstep.
Don't miss
Monte Toro: The highest mountain in Menorca is topped by a beautiful convent.
Son Bou: Three kilometres of golden sand, gently shelving water, and numerous bars.
Fornells: The posh bit. King Juan Carlos of Spain's favourite spot for lobster is easily the prettiest village. The harbour is awash with yachts and fish restaurants, while the village is quiet, compact and elegant.
The shoe shops: The main road from Mahon to Cuitadella is littered with "factory shops" with prices that knock the socks off the tourist outlets.
The local markets: Fantastic prices for leather and ceramic goods.
Walk on by
Club San Jaime: Billed as a "water play park" this is just a large, people-filled pool with a couple of old water slides and an impossible maze.
Es Migjorn Gran: A quiet, pretty, one-street town, which we were assured bursts into life at 5pm. We were still waiting at 6pm.
S'Hostal: A disused limestone quarry transformed into an unusual tourist attraction. Strictly for disused quarry fans.
Menorcan cheese: Sorry. This may be a much-prized local delicacy, but to me it seemed as salty as sea water and as chewy as rubber.
Torre d'en Gaumes: An abandoned village dating back to the bronze age. Mostly rubble.
The practicals
Packages to Menorca are available through all major travel agents. Villa specialists include Menorca Gold (01530 564555), Open Holidays (01903 215215) and Menorca Travel (01625 586337). Expect to pay £800+ a week for a villa with a pool. Flights from £150pp. Further details from the Spanish Tourist Office (020-7486 8077).
