Reasons to visit one of the most beautiful areas in Europe: 1) Because it's one of the most beautiful areas in Europe. 2) Because a First Division football team is playing a meaningless friendly there. Well, as far as I was concerned the beauty was a bonus.
Purists may smirk at anyone who organises their holidays around meaningless football games, but when a first visit to the Italian lakes is involved, I believe it can be excused. Besides, Watford were playing Internazionale of Milan in Ronaldo's long-awaited comeback match - the best footballer in the world until two years ago when his right knee collapsed. He didn't play, in the end, but by then I hardly cared.
Lake Como is often considered the most beautiful of the Italian lakes but Lecco, the industrial town where the game was to be played, is said to be one of the less picturesque around its shores.
It was only upon discovering the new town several days later that I saw what Lecco's detractors meant: given the beauty of the area, with harsh mountains looming over the lake, it is an abomination, as if some property developers had discovered Alex Garland's fictional beach and decided that it would be a good place to build Croydon. It is, though, fairly simple to completely ignore the ugly parts of town.
The beauty of using Lecco as a base is its convenience. It had taken me exactly two hours, and just under £4, to get from Milan's Linate airport to my hotel - and that travelling first class on the train. Only Como itself of the Italian lakeside towns can rival its handiness, but it has its downsides, too - it's bigger, more expensive, just as industrial and didn't have any football.
So it's best to spend the majority of your time around the lake, which covers almost everything you might want to do: the best shops, the best bars and the best restaurants - the Pizzeria Acquario specialises in seafood and, of course, pizzas and will serve you a two-course meal with drinks for less than £15. It's also a spectacular spot for just looking at the beautiful lake and the beautiful people who spend their time there.
Sitting and looking are two activities that Lecco has amply covered. The place is the European capital of park benches. There are long ones, short ones, wooden ones, metal ones, concrete ones, stone ones, benches with backs, benches without backs, those with two legs, some with four, benches balanced on concrete breezeblocks, and benches suspended between two large flowerpots. I took the liberty of testing them all for comfort.
We are constantly told that the reason Italians look so good is that they spend all their time eating olive oil and salad. Many hours of sitting and looking, however, taught me that the one thing that connects Italy's beautiful people is that they all eat an enormous amount of ice cream. Their streets are crowded with gelaterie, ice-cream shops, through which the beautiful people pass with astonishing regularity. They have made room for these gelaterie, it seems, by doing away with greengrocers, fishmongers and record shops.
It is undoubtedly easier to get around if you've got a car, particularly if you're determined to discover some more secluded locations. But there's plenty you can do without one. One day can be profitably spent taking a return boat trip to Bellagio, rumoured to be the most beautiful town in Italy, at a cost of L18,000 (around £6). If you picture Lake Como as a long, spindly woman with two long legs but, strangely, no arms at all, Como is at her right foot, Lecco at her left, and Bellagio at the bit you really shouldn't go to unless you're asked.
The journey takes just over an hour as the boat criss-crosses the lake between its various pick-up points. Once you get there, you find an old town set into the mountains at an alarming gradient. Head straight for the tourist information office on Piazza della Chiesa (directions: up, then left), the main square of the old town, dominated by the Basilica di San Giacomo and, bizarrely, a fountain built in 1897 to commemorate Queen Victoria's 60th jubilee. They will furnish you with a map and a handy walking tour.
Bellagio is much more tourist-oriented than Lecco. As a result, some of the restaurants are a bit overpriced. The best bet for lunch is to pop into one of the alimentari (general stores - try the one at the end of via Centrale opposite the pharmacy) and get them to make you a sandwich from your choice of hams, salamis and cheeses. Add a bottle of water and a selection of fresh fruit and you should still have some change from £3.
Whatever you do, do not leave Bellagio without visiting the gardens of the Villa Melzi. Entry costs L10,000 (£3.30) but to describe them as picturesque would be an understatement. For best results, take some cards or a good book and a picnic to eat on the shaded lawns.
Lake-swimming is one of life's true pleasures. It has all the advantages of the sea (very big) but none of the disadvantages (waves, salt, sharks). Sadly, Lecco is a swim-free zone and the nearest beaches are a 10-minute drive up either shore. A 12-minute train ride, however, will take you to Mandello, a calm little town with great swimming potential and a fine place to spend an afternoon. Or you can stop off at the Lido in Bellagio.
But the sunny weather isn't always reliable. Two of the five nights I was there saw thunder, lightning and brief but very heavy showers. The first occasion, sadly, coincided with the last night of Lecco's first ever opera festival - which they hope will become an annual event in the last week of July. Their celebration of the centenary of Verdi's death, therefore, became a rather damp affair.
Opera isn't where the culture stops, though. Lecco was home to Alessandro Manzoni, author of the 19th-century classic I Promessi Sposi (The Betrothed). There are 14 related sights around town, not including the sculpture of the man himself on Piazza Manzoni. But if you're feeling footloose, make the short trip back to Milan for a stroll round the Duomo, La Scala and perhaps Leonardo's Last Supper. You can still be back in Lecco in time for dinner at the Acquario.
The game, by the way, was fine entertainment with Inter winning 2-1. The stadium, while no architectural masterpiece, offers a fantastic view from the main stand and is somewhat like Burnley in that respect. Soon enough, football was calling once more, with the second game of Watford's pre-season tour against Sampdoria in Genoa.
It takes about two-and-a-half hours by train or car to exchange the mountainous and watery wares of Lecco with the mountainous and watery climes of Genoa; it is a trip that I would gladly have foregone, but for the football.
Depending on where you are, the town itself is either extremely beautiful or extremely smelly and quite frequently both. Air-conditioned rooms are a must for this time of year. Genoa suffers from the August effect, whereby it's hot, sticky and lots of things are closed.
At the end of via Balbi begins a long and deeply unpleasant tunnel, the Galleria Garibaldi. Walk down until you're quite sure that you've made a terrible mistake and you'll notice a corridor on your left. At the end are two ancient lifts, which will deliver quite the best view over the city. These lifts count as public transport, and a ticket should be bought in advance. Certainly, this was far better entertainment than last Saturday's Watford match, lost 4-0 (nice stadium, mind). Hopefully, Gianluca Vialli, Watford's manager, will stick to the lakes next year - although I've always rather fancied Provence.
Way to go
British Airways (0845 7733377, www.britishairways.com) has return flights from Heathrow to Milan from £120. Buzz (0870 2407070, www.buzzaway.com) flies from Stansted from £50 each way. Get the train from Milano Centrale station (L5,500, www.trenitalia.com). Trains leave every two hours. Expect to pay about L100,000 for a reasonable room in a three-star hotel in Lecco (the Don Abbondio is the only one with a website: www.italiaabc.it/donabbondio. In Genoa, Simon Burnton stayed in the two-star Cairoli (00 39 010 246 1454, L100,000).
