To recreate the magic of a great football contest, we decided that, in the words of any commentator, the form book goes out of the window. This play-off is based on five days in May - so if we didn't see a Brazilian carnival, Argentinian gaucho, or any other famous attraction of these two fabulous destinations, it counts for nothing.
City attractions
On first impressions of the two top cities - from architecture to the natural contours - this is no contest. BA's elegantly fading buildings and occasional parks are no match for the sweeping landscapes of Rio. It would be a gross caricature to summarise Rio de Janeiro as happy and Buenos Aires as sad, yet it's hard to dismiss that feeling.
The mood in BA can't be attributed just to Argentina's current economic plight. Although there is plenty of colour in parts - not least in the bright buildings and street art of La Boca, or in the defiant political graffiti that adorns the walls of banks and offices - much of the time the streets have an air of magisterial gloom. This is a city which lists a cemetery as a top attraction - though as graveyards go, few can rival the necropolis that the BA good and great erected for themselves over the last century. We peered in at the coffins at the Cementerio de la Recoleta, where many of the enormous stone edifices have provided windows to check that the residents are firmly nailed in. Star draw is the tomb of one Eva Peron, the Jim Morrison of this graveyard.
In Rio, even if you avert your eyes from the bouncing life on display on the Copacabana beach, there's definitely more vitality. We took a helicopter ride around the statue of Jesus, the Cristo Redentor, and landed on the Corcovado mountain for perhaps the most exhilarating city view on the planet. A jeep ride took us to a mini-rainforest within the city limits. And then we visited the impressive Maracana stadium, and stood in the footprints of Pele et al. It's embarrassingly one-sided.
Brazil 1 Argentina 0
The music
At l'Esquina de Carlos Gardel (that's Charlie Gardel's - an old tango superstar - corner), you don't just get a good meal but some of the finest tango in South America. Run by Juan Fabbri - who also doubles as the director of Argentina's dedicated tango TV channel - the show generally plays nowadays to an enthusiastic audience of visitors from neighbouring countries - the only ones who can afford the entrance fee since the collapse of the Argentinian economy. It's moody, it's sexy, and the dancing boasts some intricate legwork. Most men watching might think twice about allowing less skilled partners to kick their stilettos so vigorously between their thighs.
In Rio, we tried Vinicius (rua Prudente de Morais 34), where bossa nova singers perform nightly in the chic upstairs bar. As hip young things fed lately on a diet of Brazilian beats in London clubs, this should have been another surefire Brazil winner. But after the drama of the riveting, engulfing, despairing tango, this sounded like elevator music. I'm ashamed to say we all got very drunk.
Brazil 1 Argentina 1
The drink
The first and only bottle of Brazilian wine we tasted remained firmly undrunk on the table, whereas even the cheapest Argie plonk we tried was very palatable. But there is more to drink than wine alone, and the only bottle that made it back through customs in my bag was a litre of cachaça, the spirit base for the nation's favourite cocktail, the caipirinha.
While a trendy UK bar might charge £6-7 for one caipirinha, you'll be glad to know that a full bottle of cachaça costs less than a quid. That's a hell of a markup for some lime, sugar and crushed ice. In Rio, you can drink yourselves silly on caipirinhas for three reals a shot in a bar - and we did.
Brazil 2 Argentina 1
The climate
Come to sunny Rio, they said. Well, we did and it wasn't. Neither was the weather any more agreeable in Buenos Aires, or anywhere else last month when we visited. Ultimately though, the rain suits BA better, complementing the dark, atmospheric cafes and the air of melancholy (this is a city with more psychoanalysts per head than anywhere else). In Rio, we stared at the empty, thong-free Copacabana beach and wept.
Brazil 2 Argentina 2
The Iguazu falls
It's one of - if not the - most spectacular waterfalls in the world: a 2000m-long series of thundering falls, separating Argentina from Brazil. And from either side it's an awe-inspiring sight. You can do most of the walks around where the actual water is falling on the Argentinian side - Brazil can content itself with having a better view, a panoramic sweep of the main body of the falls. Unfortunately, this perspective is wide enough to take in the massive eyesore of the Sheraton hotel across the border. Those lucky enough to be staying in the Sheraton get to look out on the comparatively camouflaged and attractive Hotel des Cataratas on the other side of the border. In the circumstances, it's a controversial goal for Argentina.
Brazil 2 Argentina 3
Best hotels
The long history and tradition of glitz and glamour at Rio's Copacabana Palace has made it South America's most famous hotel. The hall of fame on the first floor takes in most of Hollywood and royalty, all of whom have at some point passed through these doors. Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire danced through its marble colonnades; Diana, Princess of Wales snuggled in its cotton sheets; ageing rocker Rod Stewart was once evicted for hosting an impromptu football match in his suite with some friends from the beach. With a lovely pool (and another rooftop one on the penthouse floors), a fabulous restaurant and a beachside location, this looks impossible to beat.
But Buenos Aires' Alvear Palace pulls out all the stops. From the beautifully upholstered furniture to the Hermes toiletries, everything is just so. On arrival, as I emerged from the lift to the seventh floor, a strange man greeted me. He was, it transpired, my butler, and after taking my clothes to press and shoes to polish, he returned with a silver tray of tea and petit fours.
Brazil 2 Argentina 4
Post-match verdict
Possibly a shock result, but Argentina needs all the help it can get right now. While the economic crisis has made life extremely hard for most locals, visitors are still welcome, and the devaluation of the currency means that Argentina has turned from a prohibitively expensive to relatively cheap travel destination. So cheap, you could probably fit in a week in Brazil too...
· Gwyn Topham travelled to Brazil and Argentina as a guest of the Latin American Travel Association (LATA) and Varig Airlines. Varig fly direct from London to Sao Paolo and Rio de Janeiro, and from Sao Paolo to Buenos Aires. To obtain a copy of the free LATA guide telephone 020 8715 2913 or visit www.lata.org.
