The joyful handclasps, the deep, happy laughs, the big, smiling, trust-me eyes... though I angrily protest at his absurd overcharging, nothing can dampen the pleasure of a Neapolitan taxi driver with a newly arrived visitor in the back seat.
Unless you have the fortune to find a devoutly honest driver (look out for pictures of Padre Pio on his dashboard), there's little chance of avoiding a hefty taxi investment whilst in Naples. It's famously hard to navigate otherwise: narrow, traffic-choked streets with every vehicle heading for the gaps in the traffic (or even the anticipated gaps) at breakneck speed. What the maps don't make clear are the steep hills and high walls, so what might look like a straightforward journey from A to B can involve a hair-rising ride via C, a baffling distance away.
There are, though, more than enough good things to make the hassles worthwhile. We awoke every morning to the most beautiful view: a panorama that took in the bay of Naples, city rooftops sprinkled with domes and turrets, the volcano Vesuvius to the south and the isle of Capri outlined in the distance.
And while the city is noisy and brash, the sight of what seems to be every Neapolitan household emptying out into the street for a lunchtime or evening stroll is exhilarating. Equally strange and impressive is the sudden disappearance of all and sundry in the afternoon, as if in response to some bell inaudible to the visitor.
It's also easy to stumble on magnificent buildings - often grimy and dilapidated, true - dotted between the high palms and narrow staircases, almost as if there are too many churches and stately facades for Naples to bother about. The colonnade of the sweeping Piazza Plebescito looks like a great place to be, until you get close enough to see the oil stains, graffiti and litter strewn all around it.
Walking round Naples bears little resemblance to a stroll in Venice or Florence; it's not beautiful or twee, but it does have character and life. It is occasionally startling - in, for example, the brutal Fascist architecture of the Banco di Napoli on Via Toledo - but also seductive, in the dark alleys of the Quartieri Spagnoli, festooned with laundry as if in permanent celebration.
If the bustle of scruffy Naples isn't to your taste, there is a natural idyll just a short boat ride away. However much I had heard about the beauty of Capri, it didn't disappoint. Arriving through mist that enveloped the bay, it was as if Capri alone had been spared; we took the funicular up to town where sun pierced through to its whitewashed buildings.
We decided to have a quick peek at what lay around the corner from the main square, the Piazzetta. Lost within moments in the winding walkways, we somehow found ourselves out of town on a cliff-top path. And then we were overlooking the bluest bays, bordering forested hills and magical limestone rocks; all around bursting with colour, birdsong and fresh, clear air. True, the huge influx of visitors can leave little room for contemplation, even in the low season; but it's still one of the most beautiful places I've seen.
Where to eat in Naples
Claiming to be the home of the pizza is probably something of a pan-Italian sport, but Pizzeria Brandi just off the Via lays a firm claim to having invented the pizza margherita. It dates back to 1789, has been visited by everyone from Bill Clinton to Luciano Pavarotti and, crucially, is central and not too pricey - pizzas cost from under six euros (£4).
You can eat cheaply and well at countless trattorias and pizzerias around town; a good strip to try is the Via S Teresa a Chiaia, just below Piazza Amadeo. We had great antipasti in the lively Hosteria Castello. Vegetarians should note that even where Neapolitan restaurants proudly declare "ni pesce ni carne", chefs have little compunction about adding a dash of bacon to the tomato sauce for flavouring purposes. I quickly ate the piece of pancetta from my girlfriend's vegetarian sauce ("just tomatoes, chilli and parmesan", protested the waiter repeatedly).
A more expensive option is down on the Borgo Marinaro harbour by the Castel Dell'Ovo. Pick your way past the teenagers snogging on the dockside to find a choice of restaurants with views of the city lights shimmering in the water.
When you tire of the checked tablecloths and pizza, pasta and pomodori, you can eat in the modern and chic surrounds of Vadinchenia (Via Pontano 21, press the bell to get in). It was the best food we sampled in Naples but three courses and wine still came to under 50 euros (£32) for two.
Where to stay
We stayed at the Grand Hotel Parkers, recommended since the days of the Grand Tour and Baedeker guides. Boasting chandeliers but otherwise little chintz, it combines Victorian elegance with fabulous views from the balconies of its south-facing rooms and from its rooftop restaurant.
What to see
Most locals I encountered responded to this question with a shrug and a faint mutter about Capri. But wandering the narrow streets of the historic Spaccanapoli quarter in the city centre should provide a good introductory barrage of local colour, not to mention a thick concentration of palazzos and churches.
There are few must-sees in the city itself (although Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii are within easy reach). If you're archaeologically inclined, the Museo Nazionale is regarded as one of Europe's finest. It's also worth a wander in the vicinity of the Palazzo Real: admire its state rooms, and head out to see the glass-roofed Galleria Umberto.
Opposite is the long-established Gambrinus coffee house, where you can find the patrons of the neighbouring Teatro San Carlo - the theatre which currently holds the mantle of Italy's leading opera house during the 3-year refurbishment of La Scala.
You could also take the nearby funicular up the hill to Vomero, if only for the ride (plenty of local kids didn't seem to be getting out at the end). Turn left and you can enjoy the even diddier funicular ride down the sleep slope to Chiaia. Stroll out down the shopping street of Via Dei Mille to the Piazza del Martiri, grab a coffee and a sfogliatella pastry at one of the fabulous bakers, and watch the world rush exuberantly by.
For Capri, take a ferry or a quicker hydrofoil, departing regularly from the slightly bewildering Stazione Marittima. You can find the latest timetables for boats to and from all local ports and islands in the free tourist monthly Qui Napoli (available at hotels and tourist offices), although you might not want to bet your flight departure on all the services running as stated.
· Gwyn Topham travelled as a guest of Headwater Holidays, the activity holiday specialists. Telephone 01606 720199. A three-night stay at the Grand Hotel Parkers with return BA flights from London costs from £443.
