As our helicopter whirls around the rocky peak of the Wildhorn to find a sloping glacier on the other side, it feels hard to believe that anyone can really land up here. But even more astonishing is the sight, in an otherwise deserted expanse of ice, of a man in chef's regalia cooking potato rosti by a fully laden breakfast table, 3,248m up in the Swiss Alps.
Once we have been exquisitely fed by our unexpected host - Gunter Weilguni, managing director of Gstaad's Steigenberger Hotel - we are led away by Simon, an activities leader sporting a reassuringly Alpine haircut, bulky shoulders, and an ice axe. Our group is roped together in a long line: should one of us disappear into a crevasse, the rest will surely follow. We dig in resolutely. Trudging up the glacier takes a surprisingly long time; the peak, amongst so many others, looks to be just round the corner.
Arriving at the top - even having had a 3,000m start via helicopter - is exhilarating. The clean air, the deep blue skies, the heights, the chill of the snow and the silence are all so far from everyday life, and to my mind right now, much better. Simon proves that our adrenaline-fuelled exploit was no more than, as the brochure bills it, a "soft adventure" by skiing casually down the slopes on the soles of his feet. But even when my attempts at emulating him end with me sliding down on my frozen behind, I still feel like a million dollars.
It's a sentiment well suited to this Gstaad setting, best known as a ski resort for the mega-rich. The town itself suffers from the chintzy effect that occurs when more than two wooden Swiss buildings sit together; the green countryside beyond has looming peaks too awe-inspiring to ever allow the landscape to be simply pretty. The likes of Bernie Ecclestone and Liz Taylor own or owned properties here, while Michael Jackson once expressed an interest in buying the town's most Disneyesque hotel. All in all, flying your chef up to a glacier for breakfast seems de rigueur rather than decadent.
Though it's always good to be a bit flush before booking any Swiss holiday, you don't have to be utterly loaded to come here - in fact, to have too much money might be to plump for the five-star-plus hotel and miss the uniquely charming Steigenberger.
It's actually a fairly large place, having 230 rooms, but it somehow manages to convey the image of a cosy chalet. Perhaps the illusion is partly maintained by the reception being on what is in fact the top floor, with six floors built into the hillside below. It means you can retire to your room, sit on your private balcony and gaze out at the wonderful views without ever noticing just how many other guests are doing the same thing.
On arrival, we were instantly Guntered: charmed by the hotel manager and made to feel that our accommodation was substantially more than a bed for the night. All guests at the Steigenberger can enjoy an included "dine-around behind the scenes". I can't relate the whole course of this evening without giving the game away for anyone who might be planning a visit. However, it did involve music, jumping off a roof terrace, some surprising encounters and a lovely meal in the hotel kitchens. I'd earlier read the hotel's bumf - "the Client is King" - with the cynicism you'd expect. By departure I felt they might have a point: a real feeling for their guests, encapsulated in some mildly astonishing details.
Children sharing a room with parents can stay here for CHF 45 (under £20) a night. Not a bad price, you might think - but this also includes all meals and a fully-staffed kid's club where parents who want a rest can leave their offspring to be entertained. There's attention to guests from every level: while many hotels might arrange bike hire, few hotel managers would cheerily escort groups of cycling guests around the countryside like a latterday Maria von Trapp. And on checking out, I was charged less for phone calls to a mobile in England than I would have expected to pay at home. When I questioned this I was told that the Steigenberger had negotiated a telecoms deal and so passed the savings on to the guests - an incredibly refreshing move compared to hotels' usual practice on phone bills.
Peak seasons here are both winter and the beginning of summer. If not skiing, you can fill your lungs with clean air with the likes of the glacier hike, mountain biking and white water rafting. We tried rafting in the nearby Sarnen, a river with a B minus rating for rapids adventure, but a stretch of sunny days meant it wasn't quite as dangerous and death-defying as even an utter coward like myself would have wanted. It did, however, start raining torrentially just before we set off in our raft, which as our guide pointed out, was great news for tomorrow's rafters, if uncomfortably freezing for us.
While this cold snap sticks in the mind, the overriding impression was one of warmth: sunbathing on the balcony, sweating in the Steigenberger's saunas, dining out on the rooftop terrace, or knocking back cocktails in the lobby bar (where Herr Weilguni, ever the host, could be seen enthusiastically chopping limes for rounds of caipirinhas well into the small hours). There wasn't, in fact, a log fire burning, but it felt so welcoming you could swear there was.
Way to go
· Gwyn Topham stayed in Gstaad as a guest of the Steigenberger Hotel. Steigenberger Hotel Gstaad-Saanen, CH-3792 Gstaad Saanen. Tel: +41 (0) 33 7 48 64 64. www.gstaad-saanen.steigenberger.ch. Seven nights half board costs from CHF 994 (approx £450, no single supplement for stays of 7 days or more). Children 4-12 sharing the parents room can stay all-inclusive from CHF 45 per day. "Dine-around" and white water rafting are included for guests staying for a week. The glacier hike with helicopter and breakfast costs CHF 285 pp, minimum 5 people.
· He flew to Zurich from London Heathrow with Swiss International Air Lines. Swiss operates 20 daily flights from London Heathrow, London City, Birmingham and Manchester. Fares start from £130 return, including taxes. For reservations call 0845 601 0956 or visit www.swiss.com.
· The Annual Menuhin Festival Gstaad takes place in August, featuring top international classical artists. For details see www.menuhinfestivalgstaad.com.
