Going through the United States immigration control is about as enjoyable as airline food: the inevitable queue is an unpleasant, slightly moist affair that takes forever to go down. Most of us, though, accept that in these times of unprecedented security, such inconveniences are unavoidable.
The tougher new entry requirements that came into effect last autumn have added to the laborious process of proving to the Department of Homeland Security you are not a criminal, terrorist or international spy but, on the whole, have not added the hours of delays that were feared.
The US authorities claim that the new visa requirements, together with the digital fingerprinting and mug shots that all travellers must now endure, are running smoothly.
Immigration remains a slow procedure at the main airport hubs - New York JFK, Miami and Chicago - but elsewhere there are few reports of significant delays.
That doesn't mean that entry to the US is going to be easy, as I found out the hard way.
As a music journalist en route to a music conference in Miami, I was expecting the usual half-hour queue for non-US citizens but two hours later, we reached the intimidating man in uniform to whom we handed our machine-readable passports.
My wife was told she could go through to customs but, without explanation, I was escorted to a confined waiting area and notified I would have my phone confiscated if I tried to contact my spouse.
Eventually, a policeman took me to an interview room. Thinking it was a procedure that picked on random individuals, I was shaken to discover that they believed I was a criminal wanted by Interpol. Emptying the contents of my hand luggage on to the table, the officer refused to tell me what crime I had allegedly committed.
I asked if my full name and address matched the person they were after. Apparently, it was close enough - though my middle name was completely different from the felon in question and his residential address in 'Bucks' was nowhere near my home patch of south London.
After further questioning, confused by my determined refusal to admit I was responsible for what he described as a 'hideous' crime that placed me 'in a mountain of shit', the policeman passed the interview over to his boss.
This was the point when I began to get scared. The commanding officer walked in and swept some of my possessions off the desk on to the floor. He leaned in a chair, put his boots on the table and said: 'Well, you really are a bad man aren't you?'
Interpol sent through fingerprints and photographs of the wanted man which naturally failed to match mine. Having spent five hours already in Miami International Airport, I was finally released without apology and told I could now go through to customs.
Before leaving, I asked if they could make sure my name was cleared on their records. But they said that this was not possible: I would have to go to the US embassy in London to prove who I was to avoid this happening every time I entered the country.
My immigration hell was a traumatic experience that shows how a mildly common name can get you caught in the clutches of President Bush's anti-terrorist programme. Despite such an ordeal, on reflection it's very hard to argue against tight security measures, particularly if you are about to board a plane.
There are ways to help your passage through immigration go more smoothly, such as being fully aware of the existing requirements and refraining from idle banter at the passport check desk.
The current Visa Waiver Program allows all British nationals to skip the tedious and expensive process of travelling to the US embassy in London and paying around £30 for an interview during which it is determined if you are suitable for entry.
All visa-free travellers, including children, must have a machine-readable passport. Most passports will conform to this - you can tell by the two lines of letters, numbers and chevrons on the bottom of the photograph page. If your passport has these, it is machine-readable.
In addition to this, the US is pushing for the introduction of biometric passports. Technical challenges have meant that the UK has been given an extension until October for the introduction of passports containing this unique personal data that identifies the holder by face, finger and iris scan. The UK Passport Service is confident it can begin issuing biometric passports to new applicants by the end of this year. The Foreign Office says this may mean there will be a gap after 26 October when both business and leisure visitors will have to obtain a visa to travel to the US.
In the meantime, all visitors to America aged over 14 will have their index finger and face digitally automatically scanned upon arrival for US records.
My lengthy experience was undoubtedly unusual. The UK travel industry is remarkably upbeat about the new requirements. The Association of British Travel Agents says that it has been a bumper year for UK tourists travelling to the the US. Neither Virgin Atlantic nor British Airways have experienced problems.
Even the notoriously curt manner of the immigration officials that I experienced first hand, could change with a promise to improve etiquette.
We visit America more than any other European nationality and it seems our love affair with the land of plenty is set to continue - just remember to skip the jokes and pray there are no wrongdoers on the loose who share your name.
Further entry and passport information at usembassy.org.uk and ukpa.gov.uk
Visa facts
· Until October 2005, most British citizens carrying a valid passport can enter the US as a tourist for up to 90 days without a visa under the Visa Waiver Program.
· All visitors to the US are required to possess a return ticket.
· Your passport must be valid for at least 90 days from the date of entry to the US. If not, you will only be admitted until the date when the passport expires.
· From 26 October all visitors to the US (including children) will have to carry an individual machine-readable passport.
· From 30 November next year, all visitors wil have to carry a biometric passport, which identifies the holder through facial, finger and iris scans.