'Phaic Tan is truly a beguiling land of contrasts, where traffic police wear face masks but surgeons rarely do, a country where littering is an indictable offence yet landlords may legally use torture to extract overdue rent.' And so begins this travel guide parody, written for a country that doesn't exist.

Phaic Tan is 'the birthplace of the trouser press and irritable bowel syndrome', with coastal resorts so luxurious that 'staff are sacked daily just to maintain freshness'. Its people, 'with their curious blend of politeness and militant Maoism', have staged some of the 'most courteous revolutions in Asian history'.

Written by a trio of authors, it may be made up but that doesn't mean you shouldn't bother reading this guide, which is dotted with advice. One traveller reveals: 'The key is to not look too wealthy. I dress as a destitute. In particularly dangerous places I may even visibly wet my pants.'

· Phaic Tan is published by Quadrille Publishing and is out now. To order it for £8.99 with free UK p&p call the Observer Books Service on 0870 836 0885 or visit www.observer.co.uk/bookshop.