That rings a bell.

No, you're thinking of Thomas Cook, which recently relaunched its site - I'll review that one next week. But it's not surprising that you're confused. Thomson may claim to be number one in the travel business ("Let No 1 look after you"), but it also owns Lunn Poly, Crystal, Budget Travel, Britannia Airways, the Holiday Cottages Group and Fritidsresor, a Stockholm-based operation.

But even the Thomson site has around a dozen sections.

Indeed. Thomson Weddings, Thomson Sports Resorts, Thomson Ski and Snowboarding, Thomson Young at Heart - the list goes on and on. The trouble is that these are all show sites - you can look, but you can't buy. To book, you'll have to go to a travel agent or ring the hotline.

I just want a very cheap holiday at the last minute.

The cheapest option listed was a self-catering week in "TLS" for £129 with accommodation allocated on arrival. I called the Thomson Direct line. "I'd really like to book this holiday," I lied. "But I wondered where TLS was?"

And the result?

"TLS? I'm afraid I don't know," came the reply. "It's maybe just an airfare to Tenerife. I've got one here for £99. But there's nothing coming up on the system for that date from Stansted at that price. Maybe it's already been sold."

Maybe it was Torremolinos?

Who knows? To be fair, I could have chosen the equally mysterious TRN for £139. Perhaps Thomson should start a Mystery Holidays site with the stag weekend market in mind.