Think you know Johannesburg? Deprivation, racial conflict and urban decay, visible only through a hail of gunshots? Well, it's time to think again.
A decade after the end of apartheid, Jo'burg - aka Jozi, aka Egoli, aka the City of Gold - is a fantastically vibrant mix of brash upstart and grand old dame, where Africa meets Europe via southern California. Standing by a shack in the middle of Alexandra township, the gleaming tops of Sandton's skyscrapers could be a thousand miles away. Actually, they're less than two.
The city went through a spectacularly destructive period in the 1990s but the installation of CCTV downtown and large regeneration projects like the Newtown Cultural Precinct and new apartments in Marshalltown and Braamfontein are injecting new life into previously troubled neighbourhoods. Take the same precautions you would in any big city, and the worst you're likely to come away with is a bruised credit card.
Part of the trouble is that white Johannesburg - happy, yet paranoid, behind the walls of its shopping malls and BMW dealerships - is only slowly giving the city centre a second chance. And tell someone from Houghton (Jo'burg's answer to Beverly Hills) you're spending a night in a Soweto B&B and their response is likely to be a look of amusement, astonishment and horror in equal measure. They're more likely to have visited London than to have made the half-hour journey down the N1 freeway, but visit a township and you'll be enjoying some of Africa's friendliest people, not to mention its best music and cheapest beer.
So go on an Art Deco tour, catch a football match between the Orlando Pirates and the Kaizer Chiefs or a rugby game at Ellis Park, sip a cocktail on the terrace at the posh Westcliff Hotel, listen to township jazz, walk in one of the leafiest cities on earth and take advantage of the exchange rate to get a nose job. Above all, go see for yourself.
· Prices are based on an exchange rate of £1 = 11.70 Rand. To call from the UK, phone numbers need to be preceded by 00 27 11
Room for the night
Budget: It's hard for someone who hasn't been there to imagine a posh side to Soweto, but Diepkloof is it, and it's where you'll find Lolo's Guest House (988 4102; www.sa-venues.com/ga/lolos.htm). The four-bedroom B&B is a good base for exploring Johannesburg's largest township with a friendly, welcoming owner and her extended family. Anyone who's wary of staying in such an environment will have all preconceptions shattered - the only harm may come from over-eating. You can dine in, or meals can be arranged at local restaurants, as can tours. B&B doubles from £43; airport pickup £9.40pp.
Moderate: Liz Delmont (442 8083; www.lizatlancaster.co.za) runs a B&B from her northern suburbs home at Craighall Park, close to Rosebank for a good variety of shopping and eating. It's friendly and tastefully furnished, free of the garish knick-knacks that often blight such places. Opt for the cottage (£58 for two people) and you have extra privacy away from the main house, plus a spacious living room and kitchen.
Luxury: If Virgin did hotels, then Melrose Arch (214 6666; www.africanpridehotels.com) would be the result - hip, urban cool, aiming to a thirtysomething Yuppie crowd. Hallways are lit by a rainbow of subdued lighting. Rooms have wooden floors, and the large, egg-shaped bath is separated from the living area only by a curtain. By the lobby downstairs there's a recreation of a London club complete with fireplace, wood panelling, oversize leather couches and bar. Within the Melrose Arch complex are pubs, shops, restaurants and a gym. Doubles from £200 per night.
Where to eat
It wasn't long ago that Johannesburg would eat at the mall as well as shop there. Now small villages of restaurants are developing in Parkhurst, Greenside, Parktown North, Norwood and Rosebank and, for Brits, the exchange rate makes eating out a steal.
Scusi (corner Tyrone Avenue and Ennis Road, Parkview; 646 8639) is a relaxed place to go for breakfast and to unwind while watching the world go by through the panoramic windows. It's upmarket without upmarket prices. Open at 6.30am (but closed Sundays) scrambled eggs and toast will set you back £1.70, while steak, two eggs, bacon and tomato is a princely £3.85.
La Cucina di Ciro (17 4th Ave, Parktown North; 442 5346) buzzes at weekends, but can be busy any night so book ahead. Menus change every couple of months but expect starters such as aubergine and sesame seed pancake topped with avocado, roast beans, almonds and red peppers, drizzled with a yoghurt cardamom and fresh mint salsa (£3.20), mains such as oven braised crispy duck confit with pink grapefruit and Madagascan peppercorn sauce (£6.80).
If Johannesburg currently has an 'it' restaurant, it's Yum (26 Gleneagles Road, Greenside; 486 1645). There's a terrace where on sunny days you can eat snails and garlic crème brûlée (£3.25), rabbit and foie gras (£9.40) and, for pud, fig and blue cheese strudel (£3.00). For £3 more per dish you can accompany each with an individually selected wine. Book ahead.
The big night out
It's said that Jo'burg's citizens will only walk somewhere if their car's just been stolen. Melville is an exception. 7th Street is packed with bars, cafes and restaurants (so much so, there's an Afrikaans TV soap named after it) so you can park up and hop from one to another.
'We do not take responsibility for well done steaks,' states the menu at The Local Grill (Corner 3rd Ave and 7th Street; 726 2890) - you have been warned. It's a meat-lover's heaven. Not only does the menu tell you the weight of your chosen cut, and number of days aged, but also whether it is 'grain fed', 'dry aged' and 'free range'. A half-kilo rump costs £9.
Before and after dinner take your pick from a number of bars along the strip; chilled out, open-fronted places like Unplugged on 7th, Xai Xai, or round the corner on 4th Avenue, La Vista Social Club and, further along still, reggae-themed Cool Runnings.
For clubs you'll have to look further afield. About 10 minutes' drive away at 44 Stanley Ave in Milpark, the Color Bar (482 2038; £4.20) has a chilled-out, loungey vibe.
Downtown at the Newtown Cultural Precinct, Carfax (39 Pim Street; 834 9187; up to £8.50) plays anything from house to drum'n'bass, with a VIP section and a decent number of bars.
For a night out touring some of Soweto's best restaurants, pubs and jazz venues contact local Kenny Rachilo (mobile - 00 27 83 431 9774) whose guiding fee is just over £50 for the night.
Objects of desire
Much shopping in Jo'burg is mall-based, and, quite frankly, a bit dull - you could be anywhere from mid-west America to the Arndale Centre. Sandton City is probably the most well known but Rosebank is the best, with a large range of domestic and international stalwarts (try Cape Union Mart for good value outdoorsy and safari gear), a covered craft market and a rooftop market each Sunday.
In Parktown North you'll find lifestyle and homeware shops, especially on 7th Avenue, while on 4th Ave, Memphis Vintage Desirables (880 5525) is a funky, 1950s' retro place where you can buy something much classier than the usual carved hippo or wooden giraffe.
If you really crave that toy car made from recycled Fanta cans, however, try Art Africa at 62 Tyrone Avenue, Parkview (486 2052) where the Africana is of a high standard.
Getting around
The car is king in Johannesburg. There's no bus service to speak of, and minibus taxis (used to ferry commuters from the townships) aren't a practical option for tourists. The city is criss-crossed by large freeways, which can be intimidating for visitors, not least because of the cavalier attitude of local motorists and peak-hour snarl-ups. The good news? Driving's on the left and petrol is around 50p a litre.
Holiday Autos (from the UK: 0870 400 0010; www.holidayautos.co.uk) charges from £26 per day to hire a car, or alternatively, Seretse Molalekoa (see above) charges £43 per person, minimum four, for a full day's chauffeuring and guiding. Magic Bus (548 0822, www.magicbus.co.za) does airport transfers for £19.25 for the first passenger with each extra person (maximum seven) charged £2.60.
Getting out of town
You don't need to go far to get to the veld. Aim an hour's drive north-west and make an early start for a 6.15am hot air balloon ride with Bill Harrop (705 3201; www.balloon.co.za, £170) to enjoy sunrise over the picturesque Magalies River Valley, 45km north of the city, with a champagne breakfast to follow.
It's then a short drive to the Cradle of Humankind World Heritage Site (355 1213; www.cradleofhumankind.co.za, £3) where you can descend into caves and see where evidence of our three-million year old ancestors, including Mrs Ples, an almost perfectly preserved pre-human skull, was found. There's an orientation centre at Sterkfontein and a new exhibition centre opening this year at Mohale's Gate. For an in-depth look, specialist Palaeo-Tours (726 8788; www.palaeotours.com) offers a half day exploring Drimolen with private guides from £53pp, based on four people.
Just down the road is the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve (957 0109; www.rhinolion.co.za, £6) a 1,600 hectare game reserve with 25 species including cheetah and Cape wild dogs.
For lunch the Cradle (659 1622; www.thecradle.co.za) - a classy place with superb views from the open-deck terrace - does a three-course £14.50 menu on Sundays, with mains like venison curry or sage pork chops. Afterwards you can chill out by the waters of Hartbeespoort Dam, although on hot summer weekends you'll have half of Jo'burg with you.
Getting there
Will Hide travelled with Rainbow Tours (020 7226 1004; www.rainbowtours.co.uk) which can tailor-make trips to Johannesburg and the rest of South Africa staying in township B&Bs or five-star wine lodges; and South African Airways (0870 747 1111; www.flysaa.com) which has two direct flights a day from Heathrow from £632.
Need to know
For good up-to-date information, try www.gauteng.net. When in Jo'burg the local tourist information number is 639 1600. Also see www.southafrica.net; www.joburg.org.za; www.eatout.co.za; www.mg.co.za; www.soweto.co.za; www.sahistory.org.za; www.artthrob.co.za.
Also try the Time Out Johannesburg Guide, (£4.99) or Lonely Planet South Africa, (£15.99).
Five things you must do
1 Visit the Apartheid Museum (309 4700; www.apartheidmuseum.org). Allow an afternoon to absorb the madness of apartheid which is made real at this stark, fascinating museum. Once you've paid, take a token that allows you to proceed through the separate entrances for whites or blacks before entering the exhibition spaces which are filled with archives from the very recent past. Closed on Mondays, adults £2.15.
2 Take a Township Tour. It would be easy just to see the plush, suburban (white) side of Johannesburg, cruising from one shopping mall to the next. Make sure, however, you see the reality of where and how the vast majority of urban South Africans live. If this sounds voyeuristic, it won't be if you go on a tour based in the townships themselves where the money you pay bypasses the middlemen. A typical tour of Soweto lasts about three hours and visits a shebeen (pub), Desmond Tutu's house, the Mandela Museum and the Hector Pieterson Memorial Museum. Call Seretse Molalekoa (mobile - 00 27 82 897 3347) and expect to pay around £28pp including pick-up. Alternatively, Alexandra is 'more lively and offers a more authentic experience of urban migration from rural areas', says Abey Sechoaro (00 27 83 769 4053) who lives there and charges £23 for a tour.
3 Head downtown. The previously dodgy downtown area is being dragged upwards by a raft of regeneration projects which are pulling in tourists. Foremost is Constitution Hill (www.constitutionhill.org.za) which includes the Old Fort (a jail that housed Gandhi and Mandela, now a museum), the women's jail - also recently turned into a museum - and the country's new constitutional court. Nearby the Drill Hall - where 'treason trials' were held in the 1950s, and which was blanked out by the apartheid regime in satellite photos - is being turned into an arts centre, while the lively Newtown Cultural Precinct (whose square held the Johannesburg Live8 concert) contains the Market Theatre complex, restaurants, shops and a tourist information centre. Next to Joubert Park the city's art gallery, established in 1910, is the biggest in Africa and houses work by important local artists as well established painters. It's not ideal to walk between these venues unless you're with a local guide - Abey Sechoaro charges £39pp for a full-day city tour.
4 Go up in the lift to the 50th floor of the Carlton Centre (the 'top of Africa') for a fantastic view of the city. A bargain at 60p.
5 Visit the KwaZulu Muti shop (no phone) at 14 Diagonal Street. This is where sangomas and inyangas (traditional healers) go to stock up on tree bark, monkey carcasses and a whole range of ingredients with which to perform their rituals. For £4.30 someone may throw bones to predict your future, (take a guide/translator). Nip round the corner to Kapitan's (834 8048) at 11a Kort Street for lunch, as Nelson Mandela did when he worked as a lawyer in the city. It's been here since 1914.
Don't even think about ...
· Spending all your time in Sandton. There's a whole city out there, and it extends beyond the rather sterile northern suburbs.
· Giving in to white South Africans' paranoia. As a tourist you'd be stupid to wander round the streets of Yeoville and Hillbrow, but in a car with a guide, a daytime drive-through shows that the formerly all-white city centre beats stronger than ever with a new black heart. By avoiding downtown you are missing one of Africa's most interesting urban experiences, but do go with a guide. Don't get obsessed about crime but do be as vigilant as you would in any big city.
· Visiting the Tuscan villages - gaudy reproductions of Italian towns smack in the middle of the African veld - and gated communities in general. This is white South Africa's neurosis at its most telling.
· Talking about crime over dinner - that's so five years ago. Ditto raving about how fabulous Cape Town is.
