We've arrived in the land of limitless eating opportunities. Nowhere has more restaurants than America, and here in North Carolina there's a dazzling choice of where and what to eat. But although you can go Korean, or Ukrainian, or Mexican, or Californian, most of this fare is offered up at a buffet. Many people presume that serve-yourself is the best option for families, as they allow a child to pick and choose the food they want. I think it's the worst. My four-year-old twins simply help themselves to a huge mound of their favourite item - 22 chicken tenders is the record.

A buffet also defeats any parental attempt at meal discipline, as everyone is continually jumping up and down, and no one is eating at the same time. I find it a miserable experience, which I usually spend trying to hold on to the twins as they bounce up yet again to help themselves to something else they've just spotted on the counter. If a proper meal was served to them on a plate, they'd be obliged to be stationary for a while at least.

Interestingly, of all your recommendations for family-friendly places to eat (see the Travelling with Kids Forum), none are for buffets. There also isn't a great demand for a packet of crayons and a colour-in menu, which even the most upmarket American restaurants thrust at children, including my 12-year-old. So at what age do you withdraw the pencil privilege? Sixteen? And how do your kids know, on returning home, not to scribble over the best linen in an English restaurant? So let's all sit down nicely, around a pressed linen cloth, and eat together. Surely that's what a family meal is all about.

· Post tips and queries on the Travelling with Kids Forum at deabirkett.com