The phrase 'We stayed in this fabulous little finca /villa/hotel with five rooms' (delete where appropriate) is now a cliché for Mallorca. Few people realise that its sister Balearic island, Ibiza, has some even better small hidden hotels - and you don't have to be an 18-year-old clubber to go there.
Ibiza used to be left off the hidden hotel agenda for many Brits because there were no direct scheduled flights from the UK. If you wanted to avoid a charter, you had to fly Iberia via Madrid or Barcelona. Then a couple of summers ago, the low-cost airline Go started to offer direct scheduled flights. But there was a big drawback: night flights only. The good news is that, from this spring, Go is also offering daytime flights and many charter operators are becoming more flexible and offering three, four and 10-day options, instead of the old-fashioned seven- or 14-day stays, which makes it easier to do a few nights here and a few nights there.
All prices are for a standard double room, based on two people sharing low season and high season, unless otherwise stated.
Hacienda Na Xamena
Sant Miguel
(00 34 971 334500)
Glamorous gays and Wallpaper types galore flock here. Billed as the only five-star hotel on the island, it would be easy to presume it's just another bland luxury place, but it's not. The setting is stunning - 63 rooms on the side of a cliff. Most of them have dramatic views of the turquoise bay below, surrounded by pine trees. Even from the cheaper rooms the views are stupendous. You can lie in bed and look out on the shimmering bay, and breakfast on the balcony. Many rooms have balcony whirlpools.
The food is superb (the Wallpaper types at the next table spent the best part of one meal discussing whether the food was better at hotels with Michelin-starred restaurants or Relais et Châteaux properties, of which this is one). Room-service breakfast was a pot of good coffee, freshly squeezed orange juice, a lovely boiled egg, croissants directly from the oven and the best Serrano ham.
Some people complain about its cut-off location. My only complaint was the service, which was often snooty, and the French-speaking staff were offhand at times.
Having said that, service was quick and efficient (five minutes from phone call to delivery of breakfast in bed) and lying by the pool watching the tanned Dolce & Gabanna-clad torsos at work was highly entertaining.
Cost: Thomson a la Carte (0870 550 2550) offers packages for £819-£1,009,including seven nights' B&B, flights and taxi transfers.
Pikes
Sant Antoni
(00 34 971 342312)
Now in its twenty-third year, this funky, 27-room hotel in the hills behind San Antonio is the haunt of club DJs and ageing pop stars. The reception desk is a wall of fame, with hundreds of signed photographs from celebs who've stayed here. There's a picture of Julio Iglesias in a bow tie (when he had hair) and another of Naomi Campbell on her mobile by the pool. There's also George Michael in his Wham! days and Sigue Sigue Sputnik (remember them?).
The hotel is based around a fifteenth-century finca building, and the shrubberies and plants provide ample shade and privacy. The rooms are tucked in small clusters between trees and around corners. Breakfast is served until noon. Ask for a Pikes speciality cocktail if you dare (names include Three Boys in a Glass, Zombie and Blow Job).
This isn't the most impressive hotel in terms of wow factor, but it fits into the 'well-worn pair of celebrity slippers' slot quite well.
Cost: €132(£82)/€180 (£111).
La Torre del Canonigo
Ibiza Town
(00 34 971 303884/303257)
You reach this camp, theatrical haunt by walking up tiny, steep back streets in the old town of Ibiza. This is a converted priest's house, and the inside is kitsch Catholic with huge candlesticks dripping wax, dark pews and pained-looking icons. Stunning views. One room even has its own rooftop swimming pool. This used to be a gays-only hotel, but everyone is now welcome.
Cost: €120 (£74)/€270 (£167).
El Palacio
Ibiza Town
(00 34 971 301478)
Any business that bills itself as the 'hotel of the movie stars' is going to repel any really hot film star. Think Auntie Mildred, lacy doilies and pink tablecloths and you have it.
This is located about halfway to the top of the old town, in a cobbled street. Outside on the wall are handprints of the so-called stars who've stayed here. They are mainly second-rate German TV anchormen, but we did spot Penelope Cruz before her Captain Corelli and Tom Cruise days.
Cost: €188 (£116)/€235 (£145)
La Ventana
Ibiza Town
(00 34 971 390857)
Difficult to get a room, but probably my top recommendation if you want to stay in the atmospheric old Ibiza Town. This 14-room hotel is an old, creaky, colonial converted house with windy staircases and designer graffiti-ridden walls. The roof is a communal lounge area with a canopy and big cushions and views on to the port.
This is a great place to stay if you intend to bar crawl around Ibiza Town at night, or want to go clubbing at nearby Pacha with none of the manic car-parking problems that those coming from outside face. You can walk to the town centre in five minutes and it's not too far up the steep hills of the old town if you're tired. Breakfast is served on the terrace outside the front door.
Cost: €128 (£79)/€214 (£132).
Ca'n Curreu
St Carles near Santa Eulalia
(00 34 971 335280)
This is a collection of seven rooms and apartments built around an old whitewashed postman's house which is the main recep tion area. There's tumbling bougainvillaea all over the place, almond trees and pungent herbs.Also you can ride the hotel's horses.
Although there are no ocean views, it is an ideal location for access to Sant Carles with its old hippie post office bar (Anita's Bar) and not far from the laid-back tiny cove beach of Cala Mastella. Families are welcome, there's a big pool and a great restaurant.
Cost: rooms range from €194 (£120)/€226 (£140), including breakfast.
Ca's Pla
Sant Miguel
(00 34 971 334587/334603)
This, like the Hacienda in the remote north of the island, is a collection of 17 rooms dotted on an inland hilltop location. The rooms are hidden in clusters beneath trellises and palm and banana trees, so there's plenty of privacy.
There's a huge pool and numerous communal 'hanging-out' areas with large sofas and cushions under shades. With so few rooms and so much space, the atmosphere verges on the dead side.
I heard about this hotel from a German couple we bumped into at a restaurant on the other side of the island. They praised it for its character and privacy, but bemoaned the fact it has no restaurant - so there was no heart to the place. Having to drive some distance for food every night can be a pain.
Children are not welcome, as I found out when just looking around the property with my two-year-old. When a manageress says: 'Tut, tut' at the squeal of a child, it's time to make an exit.
Cost: rooms range from €120 (£74)/€150 (£93). Breakfast is €9 (£5.50) extra.
Can Fuster
St Joan de Labritja
(00 34 971 337305)
This eight-room property opened a few weeks before I dropped in. The main drawback is the main road nearby, so rooms at the front can be noisy. There's a pretty back garden with a swimming pool and very friendly owners - a taxi-driver husband and his wife , who inherited the house from her grandparents.
The building was dilapidated and the couple decided to do it up as a hotel using government grants rather than sell it, to keep it in the family. Pilar's grandfather and great- grandfathers were the village carpenters, and lots of their old furniture is dotted through the house.
Cost: €106 (£68) - €149 (£96) a night.
Restaurant del Carmen
Platja Cala d'Hort
(00 34 608 142661)
It pains me to write about this one. It's a well-kept secret, but the paella restaurant on the beach of Cala d'Hort has a few rooms above.
Why is this special? The sandy beach is one of the most scenic and gin-clear in the Med (it's on a nature reserve - there aren't any hotels for miles around to pollute the place), and it looks out on to the mystic Es Vedra rocks on the west of the island with the most glorious sunsets.
The rooms are basic but the views can't be bettered at the price.
Cost: €56 (£36) per room night.
Eating out
If you're eating out, try these places:
Ca'n Berri Vell, St Agusti (00 34 971 344321). Set in an old traditional house in a complex that includes an art gallery and church. Lots of local food such as wild rabbit.
Restaurante Ama Lur, on the main road to Sant Miguel (00 34 971 314554). This Basque restaurant doesn't open until 8.30pm. We were queueing at 6pm. Most people don't appear until 9.30pm onwards.
If you're going out for a night's drinking, the best place to line the stomach is Santa Gertrudis, a little village where there are several bars with low seats on the pavement. Everybody splays out there, eating bocadillos (think fresh crunchy bread, fine Serrano ham and manchego cheese) and drinking Rioja.
Factfile
Jeannette Hyde travelled with Thomson à la Carte (0870 550 2550). She stayed two nights at the Hacienda, flew on Monarch and rented a car - all through Thomson.
Go (0870 6076543) will serve the island from 3 May. Returns from Stansted start at £103. There are two flights a day, Monday to Friday (one day, one night flight). Weekend flights are night only.
Reading Ibiza & Formentera (Rough Guides, £5.99) is an excellent pocket-sized guide.
