We all know that dirt-cheap holidays are usually a false economy. You can expect the flight to be purgatorial, the accommodation unfinished and the beach a horrific swell of towels, jellyfish and sweating bodies. But sometimes a last-minute bargain is the only choice available, and this week - regardless of place, climate, facilities or any other consideration - I set out to find the very cheapest discounted packages on the web.
Flight-only deals and short breaks didn't count, and the departures had to be within a fortnight. The results appear in order of rank, with the cheapest first.
1 Expedia
· 14 nights' self-catering in Costa Almeria, Spain for £49 (from Manchester).
· 7 nights' self-catering in Rhodes, Greece for £89 (Belfast).
At £25 a week, Costa Almeria is never going to fulfill all your hopes, but somehow that hardly matters. Although Teletext came up with this deal, too, Expedia highlighted it on the front page of its site, while on Teletext it was buried among semi-legible screenshots.
· 14 nights' self-catering in Costa Almeria for £49 (Manchester).
Teletext, one feels, has not quite got to grips with the internet and the effort involved in searching for a holiday here is only justified if you have no access to a television.
· 7 nights in a one/two-star hotel in Heraklion, Crete for £79 (Gatwick).
· 14 nights' self-catering in Corfu for £99 (Newcastle).
The sheer number of packages in the Bargainholidays database is impressive, especially if you can leave within two days. The notes at the bottom of each page explain that occasionally airport taxes and other charges are not included in the headline price.
4 UTravel
· 7 nights' self-catering camping in the Loire for £75 with Eurocamp (Dover).
A gaudy newcomer to the web, UTravel's "empowering" slogans are an irritation, and the site needs time to settle down. Nonetheless, the definition of "package" is wider than on most of its competitors and more likely to appeal to the discerning, independently-minded Guardian reader.
· 7 nights in a two-star hotel (half-board) in Heraklion for £79 (Gatwick).
In most respects indistinguishable from Bargainholidays.com, Holidaydeals is an efficient online bucket-shop: fast, unimaginative and impersonal.
· 7 nights in Ibiza for £99 (Gatwick)
A persistent error on Lastminute's server meant that I could see this offer, but requests for further information and other searches proved fruitless.
Site of the week: Lastminute.com
Haven't we heard enough about lastminute.com?
Well, you've doubtless heard about the sought-after Martha Lane Fox. And you've probably gloated over the sharp fall in the company's stockmarket valuation, unless you bought some of the shares.
Is it only for last-minute deals?
No, although they tend to be better value. Lastminute is by no means the cheapest place to go for bucket-shop deals. The site can also be infuriatingly slow. And, like a number of regular visitors, I once used lastminute.com to find a hotel, rang directory enquiries for the number, and negotiated a better deal myself over the phone.
What could I have done this weekend?
Tried to solve a murder on the Orient Express (£420 for two); taken a gourmet break in Cornwall (£175); flown Concorde on a tour of Paris and the Riviera (£599); visited Athens (£259); or bought a flight to Dublin (£83).
Package holidays with an edge?
Yes. Lastminute doesn't use charter airlines. It makes liberal use of pastels and pink, and only rarely do sentences escape a daubing of exclamation marks. It certainly wins no prizes for web design, but holidays are easy to search for and find.
