1. Which celebrity would you most like to sit on a camel with, and why?

· The pope - it's time for a new one. ('godthealmighty')

· Jack Straw and Vanessa Feltz, so she could say "It was Straw that broke the camel's back". (Russell Mitchell)

· I hear camels are smelly, bad-tempered animals who spit a lot - so I'd like to put anyone off Ground Force or Changing Rooms on one - they all give me the hump so it would be good to turn the tables! (Michael Cosham)

· Well, of course, sharing a camel with anybody wouldn't be a particularly comfortable experience, you'd get all hot and sticky, bumping up and down and... oooooh baby, come to think of it, Pacey from Dawson's Creek can ride with me any day! He'd analyse the situation beyond my understanding, and I'd just read between the lines until his every sentence became "I love you, forget about boating the Creek, let's do the hump thing." (Becky Wicks)

· Robbie Williams. Those camels take you a long way up. Invariably young Robbie would want to be shot next to the Sphinx and would need a hoard of paparazzi to make it worth while. As a result, on getting the camel up, I'd make sure the publicity-hungry idiot got pushed off. If he fell onto something hard, it would be all the more pleasurable. (Arvinder Mangat)

· Haider, Blocher and Le Pen. It would be time to send those gentlemen to the desert anyway... (Roman Lange)

2. List the following in order of preference: sun, sea, sand, sex.

· Sun. Having lived in a provincial coastal town, the other three are readily available. (Lee Reynolds)

· Alphabetically: sand sea sex sun. (Marie Golding)

· Sex, sun, sex, sun, sex, sun, sex, sun, sleep. (Alison Lyndon)

· Sex under the sun near the sea. I don't mind the sand either... but please, no sex with one of those Italian waiters mentioned under question five (I am male). (Roman Lange)

· Sun. Sex. The other two really don't matter. (Arvinder Mangat)

3. Complete the following in no more than 30 words: When I booked my holiday, I little realised that my dream destination would turn out to be...

· Still only in my dreams! (PH)

· Much more than I could afford, so I settled for Spain instead. (Marie Golding)

· A cardboard box cunningly disguised as a monkey sanctuary in Gibraltar. (Robert Sian)

· Cavos, the 18-30 holiday from hell. It makes Ibiza look like a religious retreat. (Jaine)

· Like the surface of the sun, only warmer, and muggy at the same time. How people lived in Singapore without air conditioning is beyond me. (KO)

· Klagenfurt in the south of Austria, where the lakes are deep and the mountains are high and the sun shines all day long and the only thing to eat is meat and salty potatoes. (Alison Lyndon)

4. What is the most embarrassing thing in your suitcase?

· An 'I love Chicago' beer mug bought at O'Hare International for my girlfriend... Needless to say, she wasn't impressed. (Lee Reynolds)

· The naked photo of my boyfriend that I daren't leave at home in case my parents see it. And I'm 46! (Dorothy Rogerson)

· I had a lady's g-string (although some people would think it a contradiction in terms) in my backpack as a souvenir (not for the obvious reasons, either). I often wondered what the South American customs officials would have made of it if they'd stopped me. (Aeneas O'Hara)

· A packet of condoms that have exceeded their sell-by date.(Ian Coldicott)

5. What is it about Italian waiters?

· Hmmm... I see your point. Note to self: include Italian waiters in next 'axis of evil' update. (godthealmighty)

· The food they carry. (Chris McVey)

· It's far more difficult to impress the girls when you're serving up scampi and chips or chicken in a basket. (Michael Cosham)

· They are the gateway to the finest food in the world (no contest), so who cares? (Tim Turner)

· ...that makes them stare down your wife's cleavage even after you drop a bottle on their foot? (Paul Teulon)

· Haven't you got this back to front? Shouldn't you be asking the Italian waiters what it is about British tourists? (CJM)

· I'm American, so with me it's Mexican waiters. Two words: they flirt. American waiters don't. I betcha Brit waiters don't either. (LP, California)

· They're not pale and English? Also maybe their beautiful language, hairy bodies, smooth talk and deep eyes. I'm a huge fan... (Jaine)