Graham Greene's original 'Man in Havana' split his time there fairly evenly between making vacuum cleaners and spying, as you do. Perhaps fortunately, I'm qualified for neither, so in the fading days of a recent stay, I settled for a more appropriate task...
...Somewhere there exists (so they say) a list of all the things you should do while in Havana that some state bureaucrats from the tourist ministry once knocked up when insomnia struck the siesta, although it seems they neglected to do anything with it. It covers the Classic Cuba essentials, from walking along the Malec¿n - the famous stretch of harbour wall that protects Havana's art deco, modernist and colonial architecture from the ravages of the sea, and which doubles as a general pick-up point, fishing platform and even carnival venue if you catch it in August - to visiting the weekly book sale in the Plaza Vieja. The task I set myself was to re-write that list with some of the things that were probably not on the original.
Though it sounds a rum-do, the first thing is to get out of Havana. Trust me, you'll appreciate it more when you get back. From Capone's old beach resort at Varadero, to the colonial citadel of Trinidad, it was (mainly black) migrant labour from these more remote parts of Cuba that first taught the Habaneros how to boogie, or rather Mambo, salsa and Cha Cha Cha, and its worth seeing this more Caribbean side to the island first hand.
Second, and back in Havana now, has to be a trip to Coppelia, the popular ice cream parlour that featured in the Guti¿rrez film Fresa y Chocolate. Don't be put off by the large queues though. Make like the Cubans, who are well versed in waiting, whether for specific items from the state shops, or pretty much anything from the (also state-run) dollar shops. Learn to think nothing of a three-hour queue to be turned away at the last with a smile and a 'thanks for coming'. Given the heat you'd be daft to order in advance of course, but people have been known to nip into the local Yara cinema while they wait.
Thirdly, you should sample the public transport. Habaneros are privy to some of life's more eclectic forms of travel and making use of them is a must. Managing to resist the egg-shaped Coco-taxi's that have become the slightly tacky, albeit mildly entertaining, witness to the recent tourist boom, is advised, and will leave you with a choice of 'Camel' or 'Machine'. The Camels, (Ca-MAY-yos in Cuban - the less you move your lips the better this will sound, try it and see...), are quite literal beasts, two HGV's soldered together to make a galleon of a bus in whose depths even the occasional wanton abandonment has been known to take place. Or, you could opt for the Maquina, (literally 'machine'). It may be no Greece Lightening - despite the looks - but this system of taxis, which run on set routes, is pretty darn effective in a fuel-strapped country like Cuba. It's also the main reason they manage to keep those gorgeous old Cadillacs and Chevies running, in case you've ever wondered. They trundle along waiting for somebody to 'make bottles' at them, (that's Cuban for 'point nonchalantly to the ground') whereupon some frankly indecipherable verbal badinage leads to the hopeful rider going exactly where they wanted to, once they'd settled on a compromise.
Fourthly, why not see if a local salsero can get your sluggish feet extemporizing on some whirlish trickery without the need for stabilizers. In my case, a salsero with the required patience could not be found, maybe they haven't even been invented yet, but you may have more luck: Casa de la Amistad is a good starting point, lessons are free too.
Fifthly, don't forget that baseball is the masses true obsession (somewhat disappointingly, rum drinking and cigar smoking fall further down on the canon of national pastimes). Wednesday nights are therefore an obligatory trip to see Havana's own Industriales team play in the national league. As an additional bonus, getting to the stadium will take you through the Plaza de la Revoluci¿n at sunset, so you can wave at Castro as he tucks into his rice and beans.
Sixthly...hang on a minute, what's all this about?! Same national game, same cars (give or take 50 years). You could almost be forgiven for thinking this was the States we're talking about. Despite the longstanding embargo, and numerous CIA attempts to make Mr C's beard fall out, or blow up his cigar (lucky they never tried that with Clinton) Cuba does indeed bear many traits of its larger neighbour to the north, its actually quite surprising. But, at the end of the day, it remains proudly independent: it only takes the first 5 minutes of any Castro speech to make that painfully clear, the next 3 hours are just showing off. Most of what happens there is subsequently dedicated to making this idea of independence a reality, which pleases some, and upsets others. It certainly makes for a colourful place though. My advice? Get there while El Comandante is still around. In Berlin the wall got kicked down; here the walls are peeling back, but underneath its Cuba to the core, and it won't be quite the same place when Castro's gone.
