This week we boldly went where we'd never been before: to the Star Trek -The Adventure exhibition in London's Hyde Park (startrektheadventure.co .uk). We were shamed into going; the Irish aunties have come all the way from County Mayo just to see Captain Jean-Luc Picard's costumes, scan a chart of the United Federation of Planets, and fly on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise while under attack.

We Londoners only had to go a few miles to be beamed up by Scottie. But the aunties are Trekkies, and they have booked a special Star Trek package at the Marriott in Park Lane, where Captain James T Kirk himself stayed last month in the Berkeley Suite (marriotthotels.com). I expect they'll then wander off in the evening to see the new Star Trek: Nemesis movie. As far as they're concerned, there's no such thing as too many Klingons.

You don't have to be a Trekkie to enjoy the exhibition, but it helps. I couldn't bring myself to pay £8.50 just to have my picture taken in a transporter, wherever it promised to take me. In fact, I couldn't bring myself to fork out for any of the extras: £2 to put your coat in the cloakroom, £3 for an audio guide, £10 for a programme... I wish when an event advertises a family ticket, as this does, that it would at least include basic facilities such as a place to leave the kids' coats for free. Large families suffer when there are extra costs loaded on every tiny head.

I thought I'd lost one of my own large tribe to the Romulan Star Empire when River, aged one year 10 months, climbed under the ropes into a transporter pod and was nearly vaporised. It was time to say, "Mr Paris, set a course - for home."

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