USA: bake in Death Valley
Even as the buggers progressed to the quarter-finals, no one in the States gave the football a second thought. Best avoid the big cities and the east coast just in case. Try a fly-drive holiday and take off into the heart of an isolated national park - for example the Furnace Creek Ranch, an oasis resort on the edge of Death Valley in the blazing heat of Southern California.
How to: Travelbag offers 10-night fly-drives around California from £519pp.
Nepal: trek the Himalayas
Best option for the armchair fan is to head north-west into the Annapurna range, where the trails are well-marked but it's just too hilly to have a pitch. You can trek for weeks and be a long, long way from the nearest main road. Take care near trading posts such as Mustang, which see a few high-tech electronic goods passing through. Otherwise you can be safely out of touch from any further news.
How to: Do it yourself by flying to Kathmandu from London with various connecting flights: Thai Airways via Bangkok, or Qatar Airways. Otherwise take a trip with the likes of Himalayan Kingdoms.
Story: Trekking in the Himalayas.
Spitsbergen: camp near the North Pole
While gloom descends over England, in Spitsbergen right now the sun never sets. Deep in the Arctic circle, it's the only place in Europe where you're likely to see a polar bear (though you'll never be further from a penguin). The best way in summer, as some of the ice melts, is to go on an adventure cruise.
How to: Trips to Spitzbergen can be booked through Arctic Experience, from £1,435pp.
Mongolia: freeze in peace
At best, sport here means horse-racing, wrestling and hard drinking in the freezing plains of central Asia. Most of the time, though, you won't have to face anyone, let alone bump into a tourist listening to the semis on the World Service. Just get on a horse and keep on riding.
How to: Flights to Beijing with Air China; take the TransSiberian express west. Or join a tour: Explore or Steppes East both run trips to Mongolia.
Yorkshire Dales: go potholing
Feel like you want the ground to open and swallow you up? Potholing is the thing for you. Serious potholers, or cavers, can enjoy the extensive Gaping Gill network starting from Ingleborough near Clapham; the casual visitor could start by visiting a show cave such as the Stump Cross Caverns near Pateley Bridge. And then refusing to come out.
How to: more info at yorkshire-dales.com.
Sri Lanka: hug a tree
At Ulpotha, you can clear out those bad memories with a couple of weeks meditating in a lush hillside retreat. There's massage, hot oils, contortion, yoga and crystals: enough new age stuff to blow your mind. Sometimes, it's good to be a hippy.
How to: 14 nights at Ulpotha from June 30, including full-board accommodation, yoga and massage costs £800, tel: 0870 44 3702. Flights not included. Contact Sri Lankan airlines for daily flights from London.
Story: Peace mission.
Argentina: walk on glaciers in Patagonia
If there's one other footballing country who won't want to talk about it (at least not to an English visitor) it's the Argies. Just to be sure, steer clear of the capital and fly straight down to Patagonia. At the unique Los Notros, you can stay in blissful isolation with little more than a huge, slowly encroaching glacier for company.
How to: more info at Los Notros
Story: At the end of the world.
