I have just learnt to windsurf in three days. If you can stand on one leg and hold a suitcase at the same time, you could probably be a windsurfer, too.
Like running a marathon or doing the splits, gliding about on a windsurfing board is a feasible goal for most adults. The vital ingredient, of course, is steely persistence - in windsurfing terms, that is the willingness to clamber back on to the board from the water after you have fallen off seven times in 10 minutes.
This is a far more palatable prospect if the water you are immersed in is vaguely warm, so I took myself off to Grenada as one of seven beginners on a package holiday run by Neilson, the activity holiday specialists. Not only are the Caribbean waters idyllically blue and beautiful, but you are often glad to cool down from air temperatures in the nineties.
To our suprise, all seven of us - four men, three women - were out on the Grand Anse Bay within 10 minutes of the start of our first lesson. Lying on our stomachs on boards, we used our arms to paddle - an exercise that shows how close the sport is to swimming. Twenty minutes later we were plugging our collapsible sails onto the boards. This is the make or break stage. Do you have the doggedness to pull yourself onto the board from the water, achieve enough balance to crouch half-upright, haul the sail up out of the water using a piece of rope and start the whole process again when a small gust of wind sends you crashing beneath the waves?
Basically, you have to be a water baby to put up with all this. All seven of us were confident swimmers who even gained some pleasure from getting thoroughly and repeatedly soaked. You also have to accept the physical discomfort. All of us, and even our instructor Phil, suffered scrapes, bruises, abrasions or worse. Repeatedly climbing onto the board took some of the skin off our knees and shins. I was fairly typical in also getting large bruises on the hips (from banging into the board while in the water) and temporarily losing the imprint of my fingertips (from grasping onto the roughened surface of the plastic as I dragged myself upright). And you are certainly not safe even when you get to a standing position: falling off can cause its share of damage, too. The most proficient of our magnificent seven hurt his back in an awkward fall, and needed a day's rest. Another of the men cracked two ribs after landing on top of the boom, instead of falling cleanly into the sea. His decision to keep going with these injuries characterises the bravado (or foolhardiness, some would say) that most windsurfers have in large measure.
If you are still reading and remain enthusiastic, then you could well be true windsurfing material. Although there is plenty of pain, you can learn very fast on modern equipment. Within a couple of hours, the best of our group were sailing in and out of the shoreline, picking up sprinting-pace speeds and even managing to stop, start and steer without falling off.
By the end of the third day, the four most able and enthusiastic completed a triangular course, and received a Royal Yachting Association grade one certificate for their efforts. The RYA regulates the sport, now endorsing 250 instruc tion companies and sites as eligible to teach windsurfing in the UK and abroad.
I was one of the three laggards who did not pit ourselves against the triangular course. That would have meant a level of concentration and commitment more associated with work than play - and I preferred to do some mountain biking as well and to explore the rest of the aptly nicknamed 'Spice Island'. Even so, I was able to skim along the surface, change course and get some exhilaration from the experience. In our beach bar, Phil, the instructor, was adamant that all seven of us could 'easily' have got the certificate if we had wished to.
He and his colleagues have successfully taught a wide range of unlikely-sounding pupils, including two daredevil non-swimmers last summer, adults with mental health problems, pensioners (though usually with boating experience), children with learning difficulties and primary school pupils, aged six and above, who often take to the sport very rapidly (encouraged by Donald Duck sails and junior rigs).
You certainly do not have to be built like Charles Atlas to be a good windsurfer. In fact, many of the people who seem like swans on the water are overweight, hard-drinking and noticeably inelegant on land. Smoking is not a bar: two of our four certificate-holders are puffers.
About 250,000 people in the UK are thought to be regular windsurfers. In this rapidly developing, 20-year old sport there is a fast-growing contingent of women participants - encouraged by the fact that the boards and other equipment have become far lighter to carry than they used to be. Single men and women are a substantial part of the windsurfing holiday market. Many of the single people on our holiday, which included another 20 dinghy sailors, remarked on how enjoyable and easy the whole arrangement was for them. You very quickly bond with others when you are falling out of dinghies and off surf boards together.
My holiday cost £645 for the three-day course, plus another four days' stay with as much (or as little) extra tuition as we wished. The fee covered the flights, accommodation in very basic chalets and breakfast. Closer to home in Greece, the equivalent holiday would have been £312 for a week, and £398 for a far more cost-effective fortnight. (These prices are at the start of the season; at peak holiday time, they rise by between 20 and 100 per cent, depending on the location.)
There is also another advantage of windsurfing for male heterosexuals. 'The girls love it,' says Stu, another of our instructors. 'If you go with your surfing gear to Newquay, the girls follow you about. Windsurfing has become a fashion statement.'
Neilson: 01273 626 281.
Website: www.neilson.co.uk
A free windsurfing pack, including the 'Where to Windsurf' list, is available from the Royal Yachting Association on 02380 627 496.
