When it came to selecting a science option for my O-levels the choice was easy. I had already set fire to the sleeve of my chemistry teacher's velvet jacket with the Bunsen burner and had to be excused from biology because the word 'vein' makes me go funny. Which left physics. Long afternoons in the lab passed in a dull fug of incomprehension, but I do recall one particularly tedious and complicated experiment involving small wooden trolleys and tickertape. I called Mr Bassant, the physics teacher, over and told him I didn't get it.
'Which bit don't you get?'
'Science,' I replied.
So, when the brochure for Belfast's newest attraction landed on my desk - a discovery centre which claims to make science fun - I was sceptical. Science. Fun? We'll see about that.
When it opens its doors to the public on Friday, W5 (which sounds like a boy band but stands for 'whowhatwherewhenwhy') will become, at £91m, Northern Ireland's biggest and most expensive visitor attraction. It's part of the Odyssey complex - Northern Ireland's most high-profile Landmark Millennium Project - which is charged with regenerating the neglected dockside area of east Belfast. The first phase was the opening in December of the Odyssey Arena, which regularly draws capacity crowds for the Belfast Giants ice hockey team and big acts such as Westlife. The final phase will be the opening of the Courtyard, a covered piazza with shops, restaurants, a Hard Rock Café, Warner Village cinema and an Imax screen which will link the arena with W5.
Unlike some of its high-profile, Lottery-funded cousins, W5 already has a whiff of success about it. It will open on time, within budget and, more importantly, there's quite simply nothing else like it in the whole of Ireland. W5 director Sally Montgomery says it will be the region's first indoor attraction where families can come and spend a whole day together: 'There was a need here and the millennium funding helped us fulfil that need. It wasn't just another case of here's the money, what shall we spend it on?'
To reach W5 you pass industrial warehouses, scrapyards, piles of blue fertiliser bags and the rusting paint sheds and huge yellow cranes belonging to the shipyards of Harland and Wolff, builder of the Titanic. The choice of location was as political as it was commercial: this part of Belfast belongs to no one.
Walk through the door and you realise this is no ordinary science museum. A 20-foot fire tornado, towering test-tubes and a cloud-making machine greet visitors in the lobby. The design is a tasteful mix of exposed concrete, stainless steel, wood and lots of daylight. Huge windows give views over the River Lagan and the green hills beyond the city, a deliberate ploy to avoid the fatigue associated with so-called black box museums. The exhibition space is divided into five areas, Start, Wow, Go, See and Do.
Naturally enough, we began in Start, which is aimed at children aged under eight. I may not be the target audience but I was pretty impressed by the mini-supermarket, complete with plastic fruit and a checkout till that bleeps, castles for climbing on, construction site, bubble-making machines and, best of all, a mini-recording studio where you can make your own pop video.
The exhibits in Go brought back disturbing memories of my gym induction, with equipment designed to test your reflex time, balance and heart rate. I was unable to test the latter as, according to the machine, I don't have a pulse. Fortunately this proves to be a big plus on the lie-detector machine. Under interrogation my complete lack of pulse makes it impossible to tell whether I am lying or not. Fantastic.
There is a refreshing absence of words in W5: no lengthy explanations, just lots of buttons and levers, though there are regular 'stop stations', computer terminals where you can find out more about a chosen subject. The American company that won the bid to design and install the exhibits is called Hands On! and it lives up to its name. As Sally demonstrates the various exhibits I sense my fingers twitching and an irresistible urge to elbow her out of the way and say, 'My turn'.
Other highlights are the huge Scalextric-type track where you can design and race your own cars, a workbench where you can build and test your own robots and a mini studio where you can make your own animated film with sound effects.
Which is all great fun but what am I actually learning? Apparently quite a lot, and I don't even know it. As we come to the end of our tour I mention that I am still haunted by the tickertape and trolley incident and a half-remembered equation involving speed, time and distance travelled. Paul, head of demonstrations for W5, leads me to the soft play area. I won't go into details but some coloured balls, a stopwatch and a length of plastic are involved and five minutes later all is crystal clear. Two minutes on a roundabout and I've got the hang of centrifugal force.
We move on to preservation of energy. There's no stopping me now. I am tempted to take on E=mc squared, but I've been here three hours and don't want to overstay my welcome.
So, Mr Bassant: if you are reading this, I get the definition of velocity. It may be 15 years too late, but I finally get it.
Where else for science
The Millennium Commission has spent more than £250 million on science centres. Here's a selection of some of the most exciting new hands-on attractions...
Dynamic Earth: in Edinburgh explores evolution and natural phenomena such as earthquakes and volcanoes (0131 550 7800)
Explore @Bristol: four interactive galleries exploring the brain, communication, invention and natural phenomena. (0117 909 2000)
Sensation: see the world through a dog's eyes at this Dundee attraction exploring the senses. (01382 228800)
The Big Idea: this interactive attraction in Irvine, charts 1,000 years of invention. (01294 461999)
Coming soon....
Magna: this science adventure centre exploring the elements will open on 12 April in a converted steel mill in Rotherham, Yorkshire.(01709 720002)
Glasgow Science Centre: set on the banks of the River Clyde, this hands-on centre will comprise a planetarium, viewing tower, and Imax theatre. Opens in June. (0141 420 5000)
National Space Centre: Leicester's Landmark Millennium Project is a space centre with rocket tower and planetarium. Opens 30 June. (0116 253 0811)
