'Gentlemen are requested to wear jackets at dinner.' Oh dear, I had no jacket (no story of a jilted lover and a pair of scissors here, the explanation's much more prosaic).

I conjured up humiliating scenes: would I be turned away, to withering looks from all, squeezed into a two-sizes-too-small borrowed jacket or even banished to my room to eat?

I confessed to the receptionist. 'No problem, sir, a shirt's just fine,' she said. Then I explained that, er, I didn't really have appropriate trousers, unless housekeeping could do a quick spot of laundry. 'No problem, they'll be picked up in a few minutes.'

This sorry tale serves not just to illustrate my uselessness, but also what Chewton Glen is all about - delivering a country house feel, with fantastic service without being stiff or formal.

The owners, Brigitte and Martin Skan, obviously take their ambitions seriously. Some £180,000 had been spent on creating our suite - rich, but not heavy, fabrics, light wood panelling, a shower room big enough for a party, and plasma screens in every room, including the bathroom, ensured we were a long way away from damp labradors and roaring fires.

The hotel's renowned spa also plays its part in the relaxation process. With a hot stone full-body massage I healed some of the emotional scars inflicted by an Austrian masseuse at an Alpine spa.

The restaurant has held a Michelin star since 1984 and under chef Luke Matthews continues to prosper. A real treat was the surprise glass of punchy Alsace rustled up by the sommelier for a dish of monkfish and langoustines.

If I must make a complaint, it's that I played a round on the par-three golf course and was still hopeless - an intolerable lapse in service.

· Chewton Glen, New Milton (01425 275341; www.chewtonglen.com). Doubles from £270, £425 (B&B and three-course dinner), suites from £420.