Is it the sequel to Frankenstein? Perhaps disappointingly, no. It is, in fact, an 83.5kg stone that somehow embodies Swiss national heritage.

How exactly? Well, it is named after the site of Switzerland's most revered stone-throwing contest.

You mean there are other, less-revered stone-throwing contests? Oh yes. The famous annual pebble-chuck in Basel, and the fortnightly Lausanne rock-hurl, not to mention Geneva's weekly gravel-scatter.

None of those are actually real, are they? No, but what is true is that the 1805 festival of Alpine herdsmen at Unspunnen near Interlaken in the Bernese Oberland was the first stone-throwing festival above regional level.

That's certainly something to celebrate. Yes indeed - and celebrate it they do. The event was re-enacted in 1905, and five times since.

Wow. When's the next one? Well, it's scheduled for early September. Except there's a little bit of a problem.

What? Unfortunately, the Unspunnenstein has been stolen.

No! Who would do such a dastardly thing? French separatists who want to secede from the canton of Bern.

Of course. It's all clear now. Yes, apparently they are campaigning to join the French-speaking Jura canton instead of the German-speaking Bern.

I can see that stealing a stone is the best way to demonstrate this. It's simple, yet effective. The Unspunnenstein was taken from a hotel where it was on display prior to the contest, and in its place they left a small stone emblazoned with the emblem of Jura.

Man, these guys are stone-stealing pros! Indeed - they are the same group that stole the stone two decades ago.

Could you clear something up for me? Certainly.

How do you make a Swiss roll? Lift him above your head, run as fast as you can and then hurl him.

Not to be confused with: The Stone of Scone; the annual Gloucester cheese rolling

Also known as: Swiss Stony