Doctors say that holidaying with your partner can produce stress rather than relaxation. For most people who work separately, spending 24 hours a day together in a foreign environment may put an unnatural strain on even the strongest of relationships.
This is especially true if your main leisure interests are entirely divergent. The solution is to find the two-tier holiday destination where she can do what he hates doing... while he is busy enjoying some alternative activity.
Agadir, Morocco
Singing for him, archery for her
With its range of activities, the Club Med formula is one of the best for people with mixed interests. New this year is the music workshop in Agadir on Morocco's Atlantic coast. Non-singers can try archery for beginners, work out in the weights room, visit the spa, or play tennis. Arts courses at other Club Med villages include a costume-making workshop and percussion and keyboards classes at Cancun in Mexico and Djerba la Douce in Tunisia, and a theatre workshop at Pompadour in France.
Where to book: Club Med (08453 676767, Club Med) from £715pp full-board at the Club Med Village in Agadir, including unlimited wine and beer at meals, flights, transfers, insurance, and all activities.
Andalucia
Walking for him, painting for her
The Grazalema natural park lies 20 miles west of the historic town of Ronda, a spectacular limestone region of towering peaks and villages of whitewashed houses that attract artists and walkers alike. Both types of holiday are offered over coinciding weeks in May and September, based in and around the village of Zahara de la Sierra. Walkers can enjoy the dramatic gorges and dense woodlands of an area teeming in bird life. Painters divide their week between the village, the rugged natural parks, and the surrounding farmlands. Accommodation is in the cliff-top Hotel Arco de la Villa, with striking views.
Where to book: Andalucian Adventures (01453 834137, Andalucian Adventures) £690pp for the painting course including a tutor, £680pp for the walking holiday including a guide. Both are for seven nights at Hotel Arco de la Villa, including six days' half-board and five picnic lunches, transfers but not flights.
Anguilla, Caribbean
Watersports for him, cookery for her
Hotel CuisinArt is set on one of Anguilla's loveliest beaches. On weekday afternoons, the free one-hour cookery demonstration allows you also to sample the chef's creations. On Wednesdays, there is a 2-hour, hands-on cookery programme, followed by lunch. Those who prefer to stay out of the kitchen, can go sailing, windsurfing, sea-kayaking and water-skiing, go on horticultural tours, play tennis or visit the hotel's wonderful spa and fitness centre.
Where to book: ITC (0870 7519300, ITC) from £1,793pp for seven nights' B&B at Hotel CuisinArt, including flights and transfers. The cookery class costs $25pp (about £17) including the lunch you have cooked, accompanied by wine. Non-motorised watersports, tennis and horticultural tours are all free. Tennis coaching, spa treatments, motor-boat hire, and fitness training are extra.
Bordeaux
Wine tasting for her, spa for him
Les Sources de Caudalie is a rustic-smart hotel set among the vineyards of the Chateau Smith Haut Lafitte, just 15 minutes' drive from the centre of Bordeaux. The hotel has a spa, two restaurants, and all the bedrooms are named after well-known wine collectors. The spa is famous for is slimming and anti-ageing programmes, using by-products of the vineyard in its health and beauty treatments. Treatments range from a merlot wrap to a wine-barrel bath. For those who prefer to drink the grape product, wineries to be visited in the surrounding area include Sauternes, Pomerol, Saint-Emilion and Medoc. You can also hire bicycles, play tennis, or work out in the hotel's fitness centre.
Where to book: Erna Low (020-7590 1777, Erna Low) from £490pp for two nights' half-board at Les Sources de Caudalie, including four daily spa treatments and flights.
Canal du Midi, France
Floating downstream for him, golf for her
You can charter the whole of a traditional eight-passenger barge or just book a room to float down the 300-year-old Canal du Midi in southern France. The one-week cruise includes four days of golf at a quartet of France's top courses. A minibus travels in tandem with the boat, and bicycles are also available, enabling non-golfers to visit nearby places of interest.
Where to book: Go Barging (01784 482439, Go Barging) from £1,575pp full-board (for golfers), or £1,225pp (non-golfers) in a twin state-room for one week. Includes all green fees, excursions, meals and drinks, as well as transfers to and from the golf courses.
Chicago
Baseball for him, art galleries and shopping for her
Aficionados will know that the Chicago White Sox play the Boston Red Sox between September 24 and 26 at Comiskey Park. Chicago is a buzzing city of striking architecture, world-class art galleries and museums, and some exceptional theatres. A free bus takes you from the Hilton to the Woodfield Shopping Centre, the largest enclosed mall of its kind in the US, housing 300 stores, 40 restaurants and five cinemas. The Art Institute of Chicago contains a dazzling 300,000-work collection ranging from antiquities to modern art.
Where to book: Bon Voyage Travel & Tours (0800 316 0194, Bon Voyage Travel & Tours) offers three nights at the Chicago Hilton and Towers for £661pp. Includes flights but not transfers or meals. Tickets for a baseball game at Comiskey Park $55-$195 (about £37-£132) each from gotickets.com.
Lucca, Italy
Opera for her, shopping for him
Torre del Lago in Lucca is the setting for the August's annual Puccini Festival. Lucca is a beautiful medieval town with 16th-century walls containing some lovely gardens, the famous San Michele in Foro romanesque church, and wonderful shopping opportunities. Lucca is also perfectly positioned for visiting Florence, Pisa and the Tuscan coast.
Where to book: JMB Travel (01905 830099, JMB Travel) from £595pp (with tickets to two opera performances) or £489pp (no opera), both B&B at the two-star Hotel Rex close to the town centre, including flights but not transfers.
Milan
Grand Prix for him, designer shopping for her
The 73rd Italian Grand Prix takes place at the Monza autodromo on September 15. Milan and motorsports are synonymous, but the sophisticated city is also the home of high-octane shopping featuring all the big names of the Italian fashion industry. The city's cathedral should not be missed.
Where to book: Eurobreak (09070 500500, Inghams) £246pp for three nights' B&B at the four-star Hotel Berna, five minutes by metro from the centre. Includes flights and transfers. Three-day ticket to the Monza autodromo from $375pp (about £254), Friday to Sunday, from Monza.
Norway
Wildlife spotting for him, fishing for her
The Trondheim fjord in northern Norway provides superb salmon and trout fishing. While one half of the relationship concentrates on casting the correct fly, the other can take time to explore a fascinating tract of remote Scandinavian countryside rich in wildlife. This can be done on foot or on horseback. Trondheim, Norway's third largest city, is only 90 minutes' drive away and offers some quality shopping.
Where to book: Anglers World Adventures (01246 221717, Anglers World Adventures) from £620pp for seven nights in a self-catering cottage, based on four sharing. Includes flights, car rental, and a fishing boat for two. Take your own tackle or you can hire locally for £30 a week.
Sri Lanka
Cricket for him, elephants and spa for her
The ICC Champions Trophy takes place in Colombo from September 12-30, and cricket lovers can watch the matches live by joining a 14-night cricket special, which includes tickets to the England v Zimbabwe match, England v India, both semi-finals, and the final. If cricket leaves her cold, she can relax with a hot-oil ayurvedic treatment at the Hotel Siddahlepa spa or join a city tour of Colombo. Alternatives include a visit to the Pinnawela elephant orphanage, or day-trips to Ratnapura - the City of Gems - and Kandy, the country's ancient capital. Diving is another popular option, with good reefs and varied marine life.
Where to book: Barefoot Traveller (020-8741 4319, Barefoot Traveller ) £1,317 for him including tickets to five matches and all transfers to the cricket grounds. £1,242 for her including a day of ayurvedic treatments and a full itinerary of trips to places of interest on the island. Both are for 14 nights' B&B at the Mount Lavinia Hotel, including flights and transfers.
